Character

From the wiki “Moral character or character is an evaluation of a particular individual’s durable moral qualities. The concept of character can imply a variety of attributes including the existence or lack of virtues such as integrity, courage, fortitude, honesty, and loyalty, or of good behaviors or habits.”

I see shows like “SuperNanny” and i really get shocked. I’m getting old i know but the way kids are usually educated these days is really poor and even alarming. There’s a reason for criminals being criminals and this begins inside the family. I know that character can be genentic but not always. Brothers can have very different characters but then again the education is not the same even inside the same family. Right and wrong are concepts that our parents teach us and i can see no teaching in some families these days. That makes me worried for the future of these kids that will grow up to be people with a bad character and that’s not their falt. It’s the parent’s falt. I believe the lack of limits is one of the worst problems and things like depression are starting to grow in kids with just 8 to 10 years old. They seam to be unable to find satisfaction on life and they are still being taught that they should seek happiness without limits. It should be that simple but humans don’t know how to live only in happiness. I believe limits are good and to learn the difference between right and wrong is basic for a child to grow with character. Some think that by doing this you are taking the liberty of choice of these kids and that’s wrong but i really don’t buy it. We always need some kind of model because we start knowing nothing. So if parents decide not to be models kids will search it somewhere else and it’s not always that this search will end with a good choice.

Insomnia

Do you guys ever felt a little afraid of going to sleep?? I think i do but not in a racional sense. Deep in my mind. These days i’m sleeping pretty well but that’s because of Xanax and some meditation just before bed. I really sleep well now but during most of my life i didn’t. I really didn’t. I’m talking about almost 40 years of going to sleep at four in the morning. I always felt great about it firstly because i love to live at night. Alone with not phone and emails or other kinds of distraction it’s the time of the day that i can produce better especially when creativity is needed. Secondly because i’m always feeling like i’m loosing something that is happening and i can sleep al lot after i pass away. But sometimes in notice just a tiny note behind all this ideas that says i don’t want to go to sleep and i’m afraid of it. Like if i fall in sleep i may not wake up again. I know it’s a kinda crazy idea because i already slept and woken up thousands of times in my entire life and i never died but still there’s something weird there. Maybe is chemical and maybe it’s psychological i really don’t know. What i know is we don’t control our dreams and we don’t remember many of them. Maybe there’s something about them. Maybe we have real problems in being alone and we can only dream alone. I’m not sure why but something took off my sleep since i was i little child. My father used to find me at three in the morning sitting on the top of the wall in the house we used to live. I was just looking at the few cars that would pass by. I was just trying not to sleep.

Freedom

Are you free? Ever was? How much freedom is enough? I know it sounds like an easy one and the more freedom you have the better but i’m inclined to disagree on that. I met i guy sometime ago that made me think about it. He was a representative for the homeless in the government and he was a homeless his hole life. Not actually a homeless because homeless people usually are living in the city on the streets. He walked. Thousands of miles by foot. He was not a pilgrim also because he didn’t believe in god and wasn’t going nowhere specific. He was a walker. Not more than that. His passion was taking the road going nowhere with no attachments at all.When i met him he was living in a house for four years and it was driving him crazy. He met a woman and found loved and had a child. After i while he decided the road was too dangerous for them and became a homeless in my city. He is a very intelligent guy so after a while he started defending his class. His party decided he should have a house and he accepted as being a place for his family. Beautiful ending? Not a all. Not even an ending. The was feeling imprisoned inside a house and he was getting prepared to leave his family. For him the house was a lot and he would leave for the wife and child. He paid his dues and it was time to go back to the road. I really tried to understand what was his passion about it and what i learned is that he couldn’t compromise with anything. His heaven is the road with no beginning and no end. People would always give him food on his way and he was used to sleep under the stars. Somehow his story made me sad because of his wife and kid. Not because of him. He told me many cruel things that happened with him on the road and all i could see is that it was his choice. When he had different he just was not interested. He is the person with more freedom that i ever met. Freedom from society, family, money, politics, food, shelter, clothing, you name it. What i understood from him is that love requires commitment. Sharing requires commitment. Family requires commitment. Those are all prisons in that guy’s opinion. His house is a prison. Yet i don’t envy his choices and i can say he is not courageous. He is a coward. Balance in important in everything. Even in Freedom. We do need limits. We do need rules. Many researches proves that kids with no limits are not happier. On the contrary. Of course i’m not talking about being locked down or anything like that but freedom have it’s price and it’s limits. It’s important for us to understand how much is healthy and needed and when it is too much.