When I was a kid I didn’t have a clue about what I wanted with my life. I was very lazy and I just wanted to hang and eat and sleep. That was heaven to me. My father almost lost his interest on preaching to me the importance of responsibilities. Then I think I kind of heard too much of this story and I decided to be someone but still I was not sure what. I was almost 18 and I didn’t have a clue so I accepted the task my father imposed to me to study something related to economics and things like that. I did 3 years of economy in the university and I didn’t finish. I hated it and I learned something I really didn’t want to do. I always worked and some of my ideas worked out well. By that time I wanted to be rich and respected. I guess that was because of my father’s obsession over this subject.I was about 24. Then I discovered the film industry. It was a time where I also learned that other thing I didn’t want to do was what my father did. When I started working with films and by films I mean commercials I learned money was not that important. I just wanted to do that thing and be respected by the people that worked on my field. After many years of hard work I gained the respect of many. Not of all. But I’m really satisfied with my life in commercials and content to TV. I still want to do fiction features. I only did documentaries but that will come with time. Four years ago I learned I had testicular cancer. I fought it and at that time all I wanted to be was alive. Now it seams that cancer will not show up again anytime soon and all I want is to be healthy and be able to be a positive influence of the lives of the people near me. I’m 41 now and I think this “what do I want to do with my life” thing will change again. Still it’s interesting to think about it and learn how truthful is the saying that “people do change”.
I have a friend that used to say she would never have a kid. “Nothing as irritating as a kid screaming by your side on the airplane” she used to say. I tried to understand how someone choose to not have a kid. I really think it’s natural to want to have children. The spark in the eyes of a new father is undescrideable. After having babies new parents can stay months with no sleep and still be happy about it. They always say: “You will only understand when you have one”. Well… i’m planning on having one next year so i’m paying more attention than ever on parents of babies. I’m starting to learn that i hate mothers that go out to run with their babies on carriers. I’m learning that i hate mothers that go dining after eleven at night bringing babies with them. I’m learning that it’s not the babies falt that the scream. Well that i already knew. It’s the parents falt. Why bring a baby with six months to an international flight? Why bringing a baby to Disneyland? It’s too early for the baby to enjoy. The parents are just using the babies as excuse. So if i’m having a baby i gotta understand something my parents and most parents from the seventies never understood. You have to give up a lot. You can’t just have a baby and continue travelling and going out and working and being away all the time. Leaving the kids with the nanny is not an everyday thing. You gotta have time for your kids. But then i really get scared because i don’t have a clue if i’m good as a parent. I don’t know even if i can hold a baby. Anyway i’ll do it and i’m only sure of one thing: I’ll love him and i’ll rase him and i’ll prepare him to the world and eventually he will leave me. But that’s life!
I remember when i was young my father telling me i had to stop dreaming and realize what i really had to do with my life because life is hard and one have to face up reality and responsibility. I tried to go against him and i decided to be as creative as i could. First i tried to play music but i learned that with no money i couldn’t go far away from my home. Then i tried to do photography. I’m good at it but i couldn’t make a living on it as well. Later on i discovered film. It had music and photography and creativity all in the same combo. I saw i couldn’t go very far living in my father’s home because for him it would be still a dream and not something real. I left his house and started working my way in film very slowly. Many times when i talked to him he would try to convince me that i was wasting my life with something that was not a real job. Then i started getting better and better in my field. After twenty years he still tried to find some weakness in my life specially financial to be able to say i was wasting my life. Now i’m an internationally know director and this year he asked me to work in his company. He said he was seventy and he was about to quit. Either i decided to keep it going or he would sell. After all this time i felt the job i believe i was tailored to do and started to work with him in a field i have no expertise. I guess i was really wasting my life because i would never end up turning my back to him. I realized fathers keep saying to their sons to stop dreaming but what they really want is to see their dreams living on their children’s hands.
The eternal solitude of the restless Mind 