Archives for posts with tag: free

Are you free? Ever was? How much freedom is enough? I know it sounds like an easy one and the more freedom you have the better but i’m inclined to disagree on that. I met i guy sometime ago that made me think about it. He was a representative for the homeless in the government and he was a homeless his hole life. Not actually a homeless because homeless people usually are living in the city on the streets. He walked. Thousands of miles by foot. He was not a pilgrim also because he didn’t believe in god and wasn’t going nowhere specific. He was a walker. Not more than that. His passion was taking the road going nowhere with no attachments at all.When i met him he was living in a house for four years and it was driving him crazy. He met a woman and found loved and had a child. After i while he decided the road was too dangerous for them and became a homeless in my city. He is a very intelligent guy so after a while he started defending his class. His party decided he should have a house and he accepted as being a place for his family. Beautiful ending? Not a all. Not even an ending. The was feeling imprisoned inside a house and he was getting prepared to leave his family. For him the house was a lot and he would leave for the wife and child. He paid his dues and it was time to go back to the road. I really tried to understand what was his passion about it and what i learned is that he couldn’t compromise with anything. His heaven is the road with no beginning and no end. People would always give him food on his way and he was used to sleep under the stars. Somehow his story made me sad because of his wife and kid. Not because of him. He told me many cruel things that happened with him on the road and all i could see is that it was his choice. When he had different he just was not interested. He is the person with more freedom that i ever met. Freedom from society, family, money, politics, food, shelter, clothing, you name it. What i understood from him is that love requires commitment. Sharing requires commitment. Family requires commitment. Those are all prisons in that guy’s opinion. His house is a prison. Yet i don’t envy his choices and i can say he is not courageous. He is a coward. Balance in important in everything. Even in Freedom. We do need limits. We do need rules. Many researches proves that kids with no limits are not happier. On the contrary. Of course i’m not talking about being locked down or anything like that but freedom have it’s price and it’s limits. It’s important for us to understand how much is healthy and needed and when it is too much.

I was born in 1969 and historians call people my age “the lost generation”. I even attended a lecture in cannes festival adressed to huge companies talking about this so called “lost generation” and it’s consuming habits. It was fun to learn that my generation is often mentioned as “against fashion and consumption ” or “a generation that doesn’t believe in brands and capitalism” . They said that after the easygoing hippies our generation was one full of super protective parents that sometimes are even competitive about this matter.. That unlike babyboomers we value lifestyle over money and quality of life over success. What i really liked the most tought was the opening of this lecture where they used a speech played by Brad Pitt in the Fight Club. The name of his character on the movie is Tyler Durden and the speech is the best definition of my generation i ever heard so i would like to share with you guys. Many of you know it by heart i guess but it’s always good to listen to these words:

” I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. Goddammit, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man; no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our Great War is a spiritual war. Our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised by television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars. But we won’t; and we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.”

I’m not worried about this generation of mine because the truth freed us a while ago. As a matter of fact the guys in that lecture made a big research to find out that between the babyboomers and the generation x (today’s young adults) my generation seams to be the more happy and positive about life. Congratulations lost fellas!!!

I know idealists may offer a different version but in my experience i never witnessed something called unconditional love even in the most truthful kinds of relationships. There’s also no such a thing as unconditional friendship. There are real friends you keep for life but even then you gotta be honest with yourself and accept the fact you have that friendship for a reason. Even if it’s just the fact of having an old friend but still there is a reason. People share interests and when the stop sharing these interests generally they split. The usual excuse is the kind of life we live today:  Always busy and full of events. The real explanation is that there’s no room for that friendship anymore. Not that these same people stopped caring for each other. It’s just that their path united them once and separated them afterwords. I believe it’s healthy to think this way because once that’s clear you can deal with your relations in a much more open way not expecting more than it’s your place to expect and not offering more than you have to offer. It sounds kind of obvious but that’s not how many people relate. There’s always unnecessary frustration and deception. Many believe there’s this unconditional thing but they forget why they started their relations at first place. I can assure they had their reasons. From common and logical thinks as a to have a working buddy to a subtle thing as the excuse you need to be at a certain spot in a party there’s always a starting point for it to begin and other for it to engage and continue. Even your mom wants to leave a shadow of her life through your birth and the birth of your kids. That’s not a bad thing at all. that’s how we exchange in our relations. The only very important things are: To expect no more than you should from other people and not offer no more than you have to give!