Archives for posts with tag: cancer

When I was a kid I didn’t have a clue about what I wanted with my life. I was very lazy and I just wanted to hang and eat and sleep. That was heaven to me. My father almost lost his interest on preaching to me the importance of responsibilities. Then I think I kind of heard too much of this story and I decided to be someone but still I was not sure what. I was almost 18 and I didn’t have a clue so I accepted the task my father imposed to me to study something related to economics and things like that. I did 3 years of economy in the university and I didn’t finish. I hated it and I learned something I really didn’t want to do. I always worked and some of my ideas worked out well. By that time I wanted to be rich and respected. I guess that was because of my father’s obsession over this subject.I was about 24. Then I discovered the film industry. It was a time where I also learned that other thing I didn’t want to do was what my father did. When I started working with films and by films I mean commercials I learned money was not that important. I just wanted to do that thing and be respected by the people that worked on my field. After many years of hard work I gained the respect of many. Not of all. But I’m really satisfied with my life in commercials and content to TV. I still want to do fiction features. I only did documentaries but that will come with time. Four years ago I learned I had testicular cancer. I fought it and at that time all I wanted to be was alive. Now it seams that cancer will not show up again anytime soon and all I want is to be healthy and be able to be a positive influence of the lives of the people near me. I’m 41 now and I think this “what do I want to do with my life” thing will change again. Still it’s interesting to think about it and learn how truthful is the saying that “people do change”.

I’ve been sick a couple times in my life. Most of you probably got sick a few times. Some of you as me got really sick with something that could change your history. To me it was testicular cancer. A kind of cancer that is not really agressive so it all depends on how long did you have it for. It’s totally controllable in most cases. Of course i talk about it much more easily today three years from the discovery of it. At the time i had to extract the right testicle out and i also did a couple sessions of chemotherapy. It was not as simple as i’m describing. There’s a huge process you must accept and lots of changes in your life. Days turn into weeks and you are at the hospital looking at the window. You feel like that kid that is sick and can’t play outside. You wonder what are people doing all around and in a way you hope to be outside again. As you watch all the procedures you think of things you want to do and that is really comforting. You believe all is temporary and what makes you remember that is the windows. There are always windows for you to see the world outside. Now i’m again outside that window. Making my story and taking care of the time i have on this planet keeps me busy. In a couple years i’ll be totally out of danger but i still check in every 3 or 6 months depending on the results. So far so good. It will never be the same because i’ve been inside and every time i see that window it makes me want to be outside more and more. Those who never looked inside don’t understand what it means to be out. I really hope they never understand but for me it was positive. And i lived to tell that to you guys.

Doctors are really brave and confident. Surgeon are even more. The only kind of doctor i ever met that is not very confident and arrogant is the oncologist. I guess the reason is clear. Unfortunately he looses to many patients to brag about it. I don’t have any kind of problems with doctors but i would tell anyone to be careful with the decisions a surgeon usually take upon a problem brough by a patient. Cut it out. That’s what he will tell you no doubt about it. Surgeons are like proud butchers. They are very skilled and they enjoy their work and the reward they receive in the shape of self esteem. After all as they deal with human beings every time they succed they save someone’s life and saving a life is quite an extraordinary thing. But make no mistake my friend. They don’t do it to save lives. They do it because they are skilled and they love challenges. The patient is the vessel of the challenge in hand. For this reason is a very dumb question to ask what a doctor would choose between operating or not. It’s like asking a congressman if he thinks it’s right for him to sign the approval for his own increase of salary. So that’s what this post is about. A patient always have to look the other way and think about alternatives because surgeon will always prescribe surgery. Many proofs of problems born on a surgery are rising everyday. When the surgeons gives statistics the only count the direct problems. You can have a five percent change to die from that operation but you still have ninety five percent of change to live. But that doesn’t count the cancer one can develop after certain surgeries or the heart condition that can kill you but only ten years after the surgery. By then it will be considered “natural causes”. The body was made to work the way it is. Millions of years in evolution didn’t leave extra parts inside us so doubt when they say they can take your thyroids away and you will not notice it. Doubt when they say you can live with one kidney the same way you live with two. Surgeons are really important but they are no gods. The only one that can make a choice about your life is yourself.