Archives for posts with tag: sick

It’s easy to say “You gotta be happy” you all must be thinking. It’s really hard to just be happy. A lot of daily problems and issues. A lot of hungry people on our doorsteps and people trying to put us down. We can realize if we want that happiness is not a possibility. It’s a theory made for us to believe there is something contrary to the problems of our daily life. I must say there’s not. I must also say that happiness is an art and a really important one. You can have different people in the same situation. One always ends up better than the other and this is not a coincidence or luck. Happiness needs to be carved. You need to work on the concept to be able to learn and master it and that’s because happiness is something that comes from inside ourselves. Of course many things can help happiness to flourish. The warm sunlight is for me one of the stronger factors to level up my happy-meter. Sometimes a gift of a nice surprise. But those are just triggers and can’t be confused to the fact itself. The cost for a mistake in this matter is the never ending search for a never found happiness. The surprise goes away and the gift lasts a day or two in our hearts. So there’s no other way. We gotta learn to make happiness grow not only in the warm sunlight but also in the shadow. That may sound cheesy but can also save our lives. Don’t forget people die of depression. People get sick because of lack of interest in life. People looses interest in food, people, desire and other senses. So happiness can’t be left for chance. It’s our job to find it.

I’ve been sick a couple times in my life. Most of you probably got sick a few times. Some of you as me got really sick with something that could change your history. To me it was testicular cancer. A kind of cancer that is not really agressive so it all depends on how long did you have it for. It’s totally controllable in most cases. Of course i talk about it much more easily today three years from the discovery of it. At the time i had to extract the right testicle out and i also did a couple sessions of chemotherapy. It was not as simple as i’m describing. There’s a huge process you must accept and lots of changes in your life. Days turn into weeks and you are at the hospital looking at the window. You feel like that kid that is sick and can’t play outside. You wonder what are people doing all around and in a way you hope to be outside again. As you watch all the procedures you think of things you want to do and that is really comforting. You believe all is temporary and what makes you remember that is the windows. There are always windows for you to see the world outside. Now i’m again outside that window. Making my story and taking care of the time i have on this planet keeps me busy. In a couple years i’ll be totally out of danger but i still check in every 3 or 6 months depending on the results. So far so good. It will never be the same because i’ve been inside and every time i see that window it makes me want to be outside more and more. Those who never looked inside don’t understand what it means to be out. I really hope they never understand but for me it was positive. And i lived to tell that to you guys.

I’m a city guy and i was already born this way. I would never live somewhere quiet before i reach seventy. I love the mess and the happenings and the cultural life of the big city. There’s a thing missing though. The elements. Air is not clean enough for you to enjoy it. São Paulo which is the city i live is famous for the thin rain so i have less than desired of heat or fire. Water that i can dive my body in is only found in pools and finally earth is amost impossible to be found outside the parks. The only solution is to spend a couple hours in the car and get to the nearest beach. It’s impressive the effect that the sand under my feet can achieve in seconds. It’s a lot of energy. After that i go into the ocean. That’s even more energy. There’s nothing more relaxing than staying in the sea for ten minutes or so but more than relaxing is also a big charge of energy. Theres’ a Brasilian ritual that i always miss when i’m spending my new year in my country. It’s common for me to visit my syster that lives in Chicago. In the new year’s eve in Brasil almost everyone dresses in white. That’s already a ritual that comes with the african culture we inherited. I really mean everybody. Another thing everybody does is to jump the seven waves. We go into the sea until it reaches at least our knees and actually jump when the wave passes us. We do that usually around the first hour of the first day of the year. If the party is too good we can still do it in the reast of the first day. They say ir brings good luck. I say it doesn’t even matter. It’s such a joy and a charge of energy that just from it is well worth it. Not just because there are hundreds of people in white on the sea at midnight but because the contact with the water and the earth and the wind are so magical. It’s like washing away the old things and getting clean for what is comeing. I really love to live in the city but if i don’t go to the sea at least twice a year i get sick. I need the power of the nature by my side.