Archives for posts with tag: shadow

It’s easy to say “You gotta be happy” you all must be thinking. It’s really hard to just be happy. A lot of daily problems and issues. A lot of hungry people on our doorsteps and people trying to put us down. We can realize if we want that happiness is not a possibility. It’s a theory made for us to believe there is something contrary to the problems of our daily life. I must say there’s not. I must also say that happiness is an art and a really important one. You can have different people in the same situation. One always ends up better than the other and this is not a coincidence or luck. Happiness needs to be carved. You need to work on the concept to be able to learn and master it and that’s because happiness is something that comes from inside ourselves. Of course many things can help happiness to flourish. The warm sunlight is for me one of the stronger factors to level up my happy-meter. Sometimes a gift of a nice surprise. But those are just triggers and can’t be confused to the fact itself. The cost for a mistake in this matter is the never ending search for a never found happiness. The surprise goes away and the gift lasts a day or two in our hearts. So there’s no other way. We gotta learn to make happiness grow not only in the warm sunlight but also in the shadow. That may sound cheesy but can also save our lives. Don’t forget people die of depression. People get sick because of lack of interest in life. People looses interest in food, people, desire and other senses. So happiness can’t be left for chance. It’s our job to find it.

I know idealists may offer a different version but in my experience i never witnessed something called unconditional love even in the most truthful kinds of relationships. There’s also no such a thing as unconditional friendship. There are real friends you keep for life but even then you gotta be honest with yourself and accept the fact you have that friendship for a reason. Even if it’s just the fact of having an old friend but still there is a reason. People share interests and when the stop sharing these interests generally they split. The usual excuse is the kind of life we live today:  Always busy and full of events. The real explanation is that there’s no room for that friendship anymore. Not that these same people stopped caring for each other. It’s just that their path united them once and separated them afterwords. I believe it’s healthy to think this way because once that’s clear you can deal with your relations in a much more open way not expecting more than it’s your place to expect and not offering more than you have to offer. It sounds kind of obvious but that’s not how many people relate. There’s always unnecessary frustration and deception. Many believe there’s this unconditional thing but they forget why they started their relations at first place. I can assure they had their reasons. From common and logical thinks as a to have a working buddy to a subtle thing as the excuse you need to be at a certain spot in a party there’s always a starting point for it to begin and other for it to engage and continue. Even your mom wants to leave a shadow of her life through your birth and the birth of your kids. That’s not a bad thing at all. that’s how we exchange in our relations. The only very important things are: To expect no more than you should from other people and not offer no more than you have to give!