Archives for posts with tag: ego

Ok…Now you’ll think i’m bipolar. lol … Just after my emotional post about the end of this year and all the friends i made and adventures i lived here comes a post that may not be totally pleasant. I’m not writing it to be unpleasant but it is kinda. Not because it’s sad but because it’s contrary to an aspirational and cheering notion. The notion that photography has to do with life. The notion that this echo that we call representation of life is something more than the denial of death. That ss something more than the need to savor the moment that is long gone. These days the aesthetics are important for some but the majority are interested in the moments. The part of the universe that was “captured” and it’s been displayed for as long as one can fancy it’s qualities. I really love these moments so that’s why i think a lot about the subject and despite the fact that it is a joy to look at a great photographer’s work my point is: This is not alive and it doesn’t mean anything more than an echo. Even if these photos were invented and not natural at all. Even if there was a studio and all clothes and hairs were fake still there was a moment. A real one. And these photos are the echoes of these moments. They are dead. I’m writing this thinking about artists. Most live ones especially those i know and can comment about with property do their work in an attempt to extent their lives. To be there even when they are not. To create an immortal Ego. Of course history shows us some personalities that maybe didn’t follow this logic but most do. I just believe totally in artists that burned everything they have done and nobody saw it ever (an idea that is kinda hard to materialize). So what is cheering about this post is the following: Just what i’m saying is that art is overrated and sometimes life is underrated. Sometimes it takes much more genius to live at old age after sight is gone and taste is gone but the sounds of life and the warm sun have to suffice. And people do that everyday! Picasso maybe couldn’t do it…so where is the fame and fortune for these people?? Why what they do is not more artistic than what we see in museums? That’s why my new year’s resolution is the widely quoted and beat up monologue from the film trainspotting:  “Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life” …and fuck the need to know what comes after you die and how will you look 500 years from now and what future societies will think about you. Let’s live and enjoy our time!

It’s common knowledge that there are three versions of yourself and mostly anything in this universe, but let’s focus on yourself. The first version is the one you create. What you think about yourself! The second version is the one others create. It can have infinite variations of it and if you could sum all these informations into a singular version that would be it. What others think about you! The third version as you can imagine is what you really are! That one is not a sum of first and second versions  therefore will never be know either by you or others. So what should you do? Follow your guts? Listen to others? Do both things? Surely that depends on what are you looking for. Do you want to be understood by others? Do you want to print your mark? Do you want to find your soul? Looks like we can see now the difference between these three versions. The one you create will lead you to a strong journey inside of your self but will not help others to interact with it. The one others create belongs to them and you have no control over it. It can be risky to use it as the stronger voice on your judgement. But the important thing is that seems like the first is the one with the big ego. The second with the small ego. Finally the third is the one with no ego at all. One would need to have no ego to understand the truth about one’s self. That sounds like nirvana. That’s what monks try to achieve by meditating their whole lives. What’s the importance of this? None if questions don’t crowd your mind all the time. To lower your ego is the only way to quiet your mind and sometimes that can be lifesaving. In other hand it’s impossible to accomplish big things by lowering your ego. If Van Gogh didn’t have a big ego and listened to other more we would not have his paintings. Only a happier Van Gogh that would live doing things regular people do. By the way regular people usually tends to listen a lot to others and are very preoccupied in sculpting them selves in a way it fits our society better. So who’s right? Are you what you think of yourself, are you what others think? One thing for sure: If you know who you really are you are not from this world for sure.

The act of creating from nothing is known to be exclusive to God. He created the universe and everything in it including us from nothing “creatio ex nihilo“. So if creation is divine why do we call our creations that way. When man created the chair he didn’t worked from nothing. He worked from wood and the need to seat a person. When LSD was created it was the mix of chemicals with the desire to trip without the need to leave the couch. But i believe there’s always something divine about creation and you can hit a certain level of it. That’s why some creations that lack this quality are obvious. Some are better. They are inventive. Some are amazing, almost magical. You really can’t tell where did the creator got the idea from. Even so it does come from things. A painter needs paints, a poet needs pen, a musician needs the instrument. They do it for many needs and reasons. But there are some that are so intense you can feel there’s something else going on in there. When you see a Van Gogh or a Beethoven symphony and you connect with that kind of art if you really follow the creation to it’s full intensity you can forget those are instruments and people singing. You can forget you are looking at paint in a canvas. Those can make you travel closer to the moment of their creation and that’s a whisper from the divine. It doesn’t matter the creed or the god. That’s the beauty of it. You can sense the divine in it. It’s like a little window that was opened briefly. You noticed for sure but you can’t point to it. There’s a bit of devine in all of us because we are part of creation. We are sons of creation. The deep wonderful mystery is how does that happen. What happened in the head and hands of the composer in that moment. Maybe even he doesn’t know. Maybe he thinks it was him self and it was! But that’s the ego’s perspective. Maybe he doesn’t think at all. Some creators were drunk or high or sick when they created many of these masterpieces. Beethoven coudn’t  even hear when he composed the ninth symphony and that’s one of the pieces of art that makes me travel closer to the creation of it. At least that’s my perception. Not that i got close to the deaf and drunk Beethoven at a particular night looking to the streets being himself but i feel like i got closer to the moment. To the spark that collided at a specific moment where the process of this creation took form from nothing and then into a medium which is music. That’s the closer i can get to God.