Archives for posts with tag: doctor

This is the biggest cliche after you get back from the doctor. It’s a kinda regular routine. The doctor tells you “if you don’t stop smoking you will die!” and you get back home willing to change everything in your life. You start exercizing and dieting. Everything is easy because you feel so strong-minded. After a week something happens and all that will fades. It’s like your health is not really important and living with no pleasures is no life at all. I did that a couple times so i know how it goes. This time it was a little different. This time the danger is more concrete. Either i do loose weight and start exercizing or i don’t have much more than five years. As i’m 41 now i really think i’m too young to leave like that. I still have a lot to do and i don’t think five years is enough so i’ll have to do as i was told. Now that’s a tricky thing. How will i be able to do something i was never able before? I was fat my entire life and diet after diet my strengh to push forward vanished a long time ago. Ok. To learn you have no other way out should be enough. I guess and i really hope so but i’m really afraid of what can happen if i’m not able to go all the way and more importantly stay there. To loose weight is one thing but to stay thin is another much more difficult. So you guys know i’m 260 pounds now. I need to get below 180 fast and keep it that way for as long as i live. All i can tell now is that i feel strong and is going easy. But it’s been only three days and i don’t know what’s gonna happen in two months. In a year. I just hope for my own sake that i can do it.

It’s time for a check up and for me it’s time to get worried. Maybe because i always worry too much about this kind of thing and some say i’m kinda Hypochondriac. Maybe it’s because i didn’t do anything doctors asked me to do so i feel like a i kid going to school and learning there will be a surprise test for something he didn’t study well enough. Maybe it’s because it’s almost three years since i had the seminoma and so far everything looks great. Things just have to keep that way for two more years and i’m free to go. Finally maybe it’s because i’m fat and i developed some kind of fatty liver. Anyway those are the reasons and there’s so much going on when i do blood tests these days that i forgot if one always get worried about those. I have no fear of niddles and that’s something in my favor. I feel fantastic so probably that’s another thing of my favor. It i can tell you guys two things i learned about this are:

1: Please, please, pretty please don’t search the web to learn what you may have. Wait to talk to your doctor. The devil is hidden on the web and that’s where he comes out putting doubts in your mind and making you think you are doomed (and than you talk to your doctor and besides the signs of stress you are showing everything with you is perfect)

2: No sales are final. I’ve been called a VOMIT (victims of modern imaging technology) because i’ve made so many tomographys because of the seminoma that they actually found i little nod on my kidney that wasn’t there before. I got in panic just to learn that it never grew again…It has the same size for years now which means it’s nothing and many have those and if i didn’t do so many exams i would never learn about it. So if you see something weird wait to be concerned. Don’t waste life in something that doesn’t deserves attention.

So i’ve been delaying these exams for a couple weeks now but next week i’ll finally do it. I know it will be allright but worrying is already part of the ritual. So i worry and i delay a bit but deep down inside i know all will be alright and life is supposed to be lived but not death.

Doctors are really brave and confident. Surgeon are even more. The only kind of doctor i ever met that is not very confident and arrogant is the oncologist. I guess the reason is clear. Unfortunately he looses to many patients to brag about it. I don’t have any kind of problems with doctors but i would tell anyone to be careful with the decisions a surgeon usually take upon a problem brough by a patient. Cut it out. That’s what he will tell you no doubt about it. Surgeons are like proud butchers. They are very skilled and they enjoy their work and the reward they receive in the shape of self esteem. After all as they deal with human beings every time they succed they save someone’s life and saving a life is quite an extraordinary thing. But make no mistake my friend. They don’t do it to save lives. They do it because they are skilled and they love challenges. The patient is the vessel of the challenge in hand. For this reason is a very dumb question to ask what a doctor would choose between operating or not. It’s like asking a congressman if he thinks it’s right for him to sign the approval for his own increase of salary. So that’s what this post is about. A patient always have to look the other way and think about alternatives because surgeon will always prescribe surgery. Many proofs of problems born on a surgery are rising everyday. When the surgeons gives statistics the only count the direct problems. You can have a five percent change to die from that operation but you still have ninety five percent of change to live. But that doesn’t count the cancer one can develop after certain surgeries or the heart condition that can kill you but only ten years after the surgery. By then it will be considered “natural causes”. The body was made to work the way it is. Millions of years in evolution didn’t leave extra parts inside us so doubt when they say they can take your thyroids away and you will not notice it. Doubt when they say you can live with one kidney the same way you live with two. Surgeons are really important but they are no gods. The only one that can make a choice about your life is yourself.