Archives for posts with tag: choice

It’s so easy to spot a bad choice when it’s not about you. It’s so hard if it is. We create our future by the choices we make and sometimes we do it wisely and sometimes not. How many different lives we could have only if we decide minor changes. What if you took one more month to end your old relationship and you missed the opportunity to meet the person you are with now for the rest of your life? What if you decided not to go by bus on that day and got into a traffic accident with your car where someone got badly hurt? All we can do is try to make the best choices and hope for the best but nobody can predict which choice will be the best one. It’s weird that reading to what i’m writing now you may think choice is a bad thing but it’s the opposite. Probably is the gift we received from god to be able to find freedom and happiness. It’s not because it’s a gift and a great one that it should be easy. Making choices sometimes can be really difficult. Probably the bitter task we have as humans. It’s the price for free will and for the nature of being human. Still after all this time making choices how do we make so many wrong ones? Shouldn’t we be more professional on this matter? Maybe we should do it with the brain or maybe we should do it with the heart. The fact is that even recognizing where the choice came from is hard enough.

They say marriage is out of fashion and that divorces are the big thing now a days. Of course a lot of things have changed and the reasons to get married are much more specific. People today don’t get together because society would preach or because family would obligate. People don’t get married to make fusions of fortunes. People just get married to be together as long as it lasts. Even the period is not that relevant to society anymore since even the church accepts divorce. So we are talking about these people that besides all this decided to be together. That makes marriages less and less common but it should make also marriages more and more durable because it’s only for those who truly wants it. Strangely enough they are getting shorter. I just wonder why. Something we see in common in couples is a plan. It’s always about a shared plan to have a family and have kids and also about having someone to rely on. Someone to look after. Someone to better our selves to. I’m not talking about romantic love here. I’m talking about complicity and old people’s love. So what happens? After a lot of water under the bridge people change and vows loose it’s meaning sometimes? I believe people like my parents that are married for almost fifty years are more rare these days and i’m sure if they got married today it would not last another fifty. They love each other but they are not married still for this reason. They are married because they don’t believe in divorce so they learned to be happy together even so they would do it differently if it was a choice. So is all this choice beneficial? I think so. So if it’s beneficial does it mean it’s better been divorced than married just for convenience? Sure! So if there’s nothing holding you back why wait? Why try hard? Why invest more time? Maybe because we need to reset our faith. Maybe because what once meant so much should still mean something right now. Maybe because it’s so easy for us to get dissatisfied. Maybe because relationships are as good as our will to make it work. Maybe because this need to have always more and more and happiness unmeasured forever and ever and ever again is a really demanding lie and if we have calmness enough we’ll realize the choices we made are the choices that made us so nobody suits us better than the ones we already elected to walk besides us.

We can’t live without it. It’s amazing how far we usually travel from the easier path in doing things and making choices. Maybe it has something to do with boundaries. We are always trying to extend our limits since we were babies and after a hole life doing this same procedures it becomes part of our personality. The result is Drama which is an interpretation from the old greek theatre meaning action. In this case it means action with no origin. It means to do things without necessary reasons or consequences. What is the relation between drama and limits? That’s just an opinion of mine but what i believe is that we have this mechanism activated to create tension and it was born with the need to break boundaries. To defy the Word “NO”. Kids fall from the stair of their homes because parents told them not to climb it. They upset Parents by not eating or not wanting to bath because they are constantly testing. We learn that we need to generate tension to get further and sometimes when there’s a lack of tension we create it from nothing. The solution usually is in front of our eyes but we need to try other paths and believe in other ways far form the right one. The problem with this is the deception it creates over and over enough for some people to also include this pattern into their own personalities as well. The big charade takes them nowhere and deep down they know it but the need for drama prevail and keeps this deception roulette moving. Some people can make it so real they feel much more pain from what they can generate in their minds than what the world really causes in their lives. Again it’s a matter of choice and anyone can decide to stop it and try to be more racional about things. It’s also a matter of balance. A little drama is heathy even to keep our passions alive. The problem is when it gets out of control and someone spends more than it should living in this private purgatory. The problem is when this drama becomes part of our relations and as it happens in our minds we can have a vicious circle going on and ending up defining these relation that after a while will not exist without deception. In other words: Stop sharing your drama and start sharing your easy.