Passion is almost oposite to the love of old couples. Passion is very strong but it fades soon. Love is much more mild but it can last forever. The sex in Marriage has much more to do with passion in the beginning but after that something must replace passion. Most say there’s no marriage without sex but how do they do after decades together? I’m with my wife for five years now. As the relation is still kinda new it didn’t happen yet but surely someday passion will fade away and from what i read in magazines everybody is still having sex after passion fades. Is it a lie? What do they do to not become more like brothers and sisters to their wives and husbands? Or do they become brothers and sisters and eventually sex is not an option anymore? If this is the case why does everybody lies about this? Are we obligated to have sex to be happy and functional and accepted? How long does sexual interest remains in a relationship? What i can say for my five years is that sex is not the most important thing anymore. The person i’m with is much more than that. Only to be able to participate in her life would be enough. I can’t think of myself anymore without her. So what’s the role of sex in this relation? What is the trick?
You’re not afraid of big questions, are you!!!!!!!!!
Everybody’s path is uniquely their own. You put one foot after the other, and keep going. Sometimes you trip, sometimes you misstep, sometimes you run a little of the way, sometimes you get lost. What you do is, you figure it out.
What you don’t do if you’re wise — is accept anyone else’s pattern, anyone else’s goals, anyone else’s view of what YOU should do or be or have. Or anyone else’s definition of important things. Like Sex. Or Marriage.
There are as many patterns for anything real and important as there are people engaging in those activities. But there aren’t any tricks. Tricks don’t last, and they’re no good for a long haul. You’ve got your head screwed on right (that’s an American colloquialism, if you don’t recognize it, and it’s a compliment). You’re thoughtful and talented and considerate and funny and whatever-the-opposite-of-arrogant-is and curious and vital and alive — You’ll get wherever it is you’re going!
WOW…What a lovely comment dear friend!!! I can’t thank you enough for the generous way you see me. I guess i really love to ask because there are so many questions to be answered!! Maybe we should live for a thousand years… then we could believe we know a little more… or maybe not!!! But this sex thing is a taboo and i love to mess with things like that… as if someday i would listen to an answer i never expected… a different approach… like this one you written… I just love it!!! Thanks!
“What i can say for my five years is that sex is not the most important thing anymore. The person i’m with is much more than that. Only to be able to participate in her life would be enough.” <- smartest thing i've heard/read all day.
as for the role of sex…..well, that's a tough question to answer.
Thank you very much…as for the sex… looks like it’s easier to ask than it’s to answer…lol
well thats a big question! you know if they discussed this matter in schools I think kids would look at each other a lot differently and make wiser choices for marriage.
For sure!!! That’s a great idea Linda!!! But i don’t know why they always hide great ideas and usually keep the old crapy ones…lol
I like Linda’s thoughts above.
Interesting, because this is something we are wrestling with at the moment. Not because of lack of passion, but simply because of lack of time and we both crash into bed exhausted at the moment. We try to steal time on the weekends, but this weekend I hurt my back at the market lifting meat down from a stupidly high counter. I’m sitting here waiting to get into the osteopath today if I can (please, please, let it be that I can!!!).
Sex is important to both of us and I know both of us are feeling we aren’t getting enough at the moment! Yet, just as you say, we know our relationship is more than “just sex” – we fought long and hard to be together against almost impossible odds: couples only do that if there is a greater depth to their love.
I have no doubt about your commitment to each other!!! Days are different but what matters is the whole story!!!
Sex in this part could play a big role for procreation. It’s time for another you or another little me of your wifey. 😉
That’s for sure… Kids will come soon… But i don’t mean that… I mean this people that says they still have sex with their partners everyday after 20 years of marriage. I think that sometimes is a lie… I’m not sure but that’s my feeling… Did you mean another little me or another little her, right?
Yes, having kids which has a time bomb is what I mean. It’s a short term but one of the purposes of the act that you can look forward to as a couple.
It’s really presumptuous of me to say anything based on personal experience because I have never been married. My thoughts were ideal and here’s what I think from what I’ve read:
Sex’ other term is “making love,” and it surely wasn’t termed that way if it’s not giving justice. Passion within a marriage shouldn’t fade away. The deed is supposed to be pleasurable and a symbol of expressing love.
To keep it burning: I know a couple who keep the romance alive by having a date once a week without excuses ever since they were married. Keeping a mystery might help too, couple should still have their own lives that would still interest them to share at the end of the day and not do everything together. Grow separately and together in a balance. Creativity and excitement are equally an important elements.
But again, I have yet to proved them right huh once I’m committing to take the plunge of marriage, which I take very seriously as forever.
♥ 🙂
I totally understand you my friend!!! 🙂 … And i think you are well prepared to plunge!!! 🙂 … it’s really a plunge i recommend…with all ups and downs there’s nothing better than knowing there’s someone in this world that has you as part of her plans and her life.