This is the biggest cliche after you get back from the doctor. It’s a kinda regular routine. The doctor tells you “if you don’t stop smoking you will die!” and you get back home willing to change everything in your life. You start exercizing and dieting. Everything is easy because you feel so strong-minded. After a week something happens and all that will fades. It’s like your health is not really important and living with no pleasures is no life at all. I did that a couple times so i know how it goes. This time it was a little different. This time the danger is more concrete. Either i do loose weight and start exercizing or i don’t have much more than five years. As i’m 41 now i really think i’m too young to leave like that. I still have a lot to do and i don’t think five years is enough so i’ll have to do as i was told. Now that’s a tricky thing. How will i be able to do something i was never able before? I was fat my entire life and diet after diet my strengh to push forward vanished a long time ago. Ok. To learn you have no other way out should be enough. I guess and i really hope so but i’m really afraid of what can happen if i’m not able to go all the way and more importantly stay there. To loose weight is one thing but to stay thin is another much more difficult. So you guys know i’m 260 pounds now. I need to get below 180 fast and keep it that way for as long as i live. All i can tell now is that i feel strong and is going easy. But it’s been only three days and i don’t know what’s gonna happen in two months. In a year. I just hope for my own sake that i can do it.

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