I was never the popular kid. I did have friends and can’t complain about it. My friends were the outcasts and i loved it but always there was a kind of worry. What did the popular boys and girls thought about us? About me? I just hate the fact that i need acceptance but i do. At least some. Today much much less. I need probably just to be accepted by those i selected to be on my side. Those times in other hand i really needed approval. I really got hurt if someone didn’t like me and as i know today not everybody does like me. That’s probably one of the most valuable lessons i ever learned and it was really hard to learn it. Nobody is obligated to like you and you are not obligated to like anybody. It’s just like that. It’s not a bad thing if someone don’t enjoy you. Of course you can’t fight the world but you also can’t please everybody and that’s what this lesson i learned is about. Don’t dress for others. Don’t drink for others. Don’t smoke for others. Don’t take drugs for others. People come and go and those who like you the way you are will stick there and those who doesn’t should be able to learn that as soon as possible and move on. Trying to change someone’s opinion about yourself is not very productive. Either you end up changing yourself to satisfy other’s tastes and needs or they will end up leaving you anyway. So i’m glad i was an outcast and i’m glad i don’t care for being popular anymore. I’m very honest when i comes to exchange. I do a lot of things for other people but i always know what and if i’m getting something in return. And who doesn’t like it the way it is can always move on.









Giulas, I remember feeling similiar for years. Now I sometimes struggle, at times, with wanting relationships / friendships with people, mostly certain women, that have made it clear…it ain’t happening. What seems to trouble me most is being close with someone and then find that there is nothing. No communication, nothing. I realize that all things are in constant flux and change is always happening. But the question is…is it acceptance I long for, or respect?
I know the feeling very well…you feel invisible and i think the reason is that you are transferring the power of accepting you for what you are. As @Touch2Touch wrote… “the most important person who really DOES have to respect and accept you, as you are, is (as Giulas says or infers in his post) —– YOURSELF”. Every time you give this power to someone else instead of you bad things can happen to your self esteem. Now other thing is the “nothing” you refer. There’s always something. Always. But sometimes not what you want. It’s hard to blame it in something particular. A person has so many things going on inside that is impossible to assume their reactions are the result of this or that…
They aren’t very different, are they, Walter? (I apologize for jumping in, Giulas.)
Someone you accepts you as you are is, is, in effect, respecting the unique individual that you are.
Of course the most important person who really DOES have to respect and accept you, as you are, is (as Giulas says or infers in his post) —– YOURSELF. And that doesn’t always come easy.
I really agree with you…
You are right Touch2Touch, and Giulas there is very little different bettween acceptance and respect. They work hand in hand. It is true as well, that knowing oneself and trusting in oneself provides the power to believe in oneself. I find that my own individual creativity allows me to see the uniqiness in who I am.
You can’t please all of the people all of the time, but you can please some of the people some of the time.
I quit the popularity stakes, they just aint worth it. The ones I know and love, respect and accept me for who I am and that sentiment is reciprocated.
Thanks Tino… That’s how i deal with this matter now a days. i think it’s the most healthy.
We all want some acceptance even if just by our closest family and friends… Expecting it outside is risky. I blog, I connect with people, I’m glad for the friendships but I know who I am and who I go home to…
And we have to accept ourselves first so when stuff happens, we can smile and know it is not our shtick! 🙂
Eliz
Great point Eliz. Blogging is a way of exercising this as well. If one blogs expecting too much feedback and get vulnerable if that doesn’t happens the problem is still there only virtual this time. The secret as you said have to do with accepting yourself. When that happens the rest is easy. 🙂
greetings by
Wow…You wrote that and i didn’t even see it… We are in sync : )
I wish kids in school knew this. Or even college. Or even grown ups. I wish I had known this or had a better handle on it. So much time wasted on wrong friendships. So so much that I would do differently.
Me too… It takes time though : )
A couple of my most creative friends were in “my community” when I was pregnant.
It always amazes me that some folk like me the way I am…I can’t be any other way..go figure…
That’s it… For me it’s the same these days… I guess it’ because we just don’t care more than we should about it…
You hit the nail on the head “I…[need] to be accepted by those i selected to be on my side”. This is what is important.
Be true to your true character is a good motto to live by.
That’s what i try to do!!! Thanks…