They say marriage is out of fashion and that divorces are the big thing now a days. Of course a lot of things have changed and the reasons to get married are much more specific. People today don’t get together because society would preach or because family would obligate. People don’t get married to make fusions of fortunes. People just get married to be together as long as it lasts. Even the period is not that relevant to society anymore since even the church accepts divorce. So we are talking about these people that besides all this decided to be together. That makes marriages less and less common but it should make also marriages more and more durable because it’s only for those who truly wants it. Strangely enough they are getting shorter. I just wonder why. Something we see in common in couples is a plan. It’s always about a shared plan to have a family and have kids and also about having someone to rely on. Someone to look after. Someone to better our selves to. I’m not talking about romantic love here. I’m talking about complicity and old people’s love. So what happens? After a lot of water under the bridge people change and vows loose it’s meaning sometimes? I believe people like my parents that are married for almost fifty years are more rare these days and i’m sure if they got married today it would not last another fifty. They love each other but they are not married still for this reason. They are married because they don’t believe in divorce so they learned to be happy together even so they would do it differently if it was a choice. So is all this choice beneficial? I think so. So if it’s beneficial does it mean it’s better been divorced than married just for convenience? Sure! So if there’s nothing holding you back why wait? Why try hard? Why invest more time? Maybe because we need to reset our faith. Maybe because what once meant so much should still mean something right now. Maybe because it’s so easy for us to get dissatisfied. Maybe because relationships are as good as our will to make it work. Maybe because this need to have always more and more and happiness unmeasured forever and ever and ever again is a really demanding lie and if we have calmness enough we’ll realize the choices we made are the choices that made us so nobody suits us better than the ones we already elected to walk besides us.
You covered a lot of ground here… times have changed; people are not as patient and the stigma around divorce is no longer there… The rest is up to us. 🙂
Eliz
I think i was not very focused when o wrote it …lol… The main think about it is really that relationships are for those who really want it. It’s very easy to find new interests. What is hard is to keep having the same interest for someone after many years…
“Maybe because this need to have always more and more and happiness unmeasured forever and ever and ever again is a really demanding lie…”
I thought this was an excellent entry and it is something I have mused about from time to time. I would certainly agree that these relationships no longer last as long as they did…maybe because those values which were built upon the beliefs of the church, may because liberty was less common… you say we always need more happiness, but we don’t even know what that is. What we are chasing is an idea, perpetuated by media, society and business because they benefit from us being like gerbils on a wheel, doing whatever it takes to reach a goal that doesn’t actually exist. There is more to be made from when we are alone than when we work together. The values of marriage therefore are cheapened, and the values of the self are heightened.
Totally…I still believe in marriage though. Only for those who undertand what it is and still want to do it. It’s not easy this shared life so it must be really wanted.
Hello, Giulas!
I just found time to check your site and decided to look around. I like what I read here, and for this particular post, I say:
BRAVO!
You are a deep thinker. I shall enjoy reading your “Many words…”
Thank you very much!! I don’t know if i’m a deep thinker but i started this blog to open discussions over things that are living in my mind. So it’s great to have partners to share their opinions. Cheers.